Forces of nature

What are we conditioned to do when someone wrongs us?

Our human instinct says to get back at them – it comes from being a part of nature – if someone hurts you physically your natural reaction is to hurt them back in order to defend yourself – your body – your life.  Well, fact is your brain doesn’t differentiate between physical pain & emotional pain when we are thinking of reacting.  Fight or flight.

Only after some time of reflection can you react in, what would be considered by society to be, a rational way.  Unfortunately that doesn’t always mean that the correct/best response is very clear.

You always have choices.

Always.

It is very hard for us to fight the instincts that we are given by nature.  After all they are there for good reason!  Survival, protection, security – pretty important things!  Sometimes it feels if we ignore or suppress these instincts or feelings that are somehow denying ourselves of something & we wonder if this is the right decision.  It almost feels like being on some kind of emotional Adkins diet!  Just say no to the carbs!

But just like saying no the carbs – what happens when we do?  We do not eliminate carbs & have no other nutrition in its place!  We replace those sugars with proteins – which helps our body run more efficiently!  We are not denying ourselves of all nutrition – we are actually growing stronger!

If you feel that you have been wronged you may want to go the ‘eye for eye’ route but society says to take the ‘high road’, show you’re the bigger person, that you’re above the nonsense.

What comes of that?  Keeping tensions low?  Making sure you don’t make more waves?  Showing the wrong-doer that you will just keep quiet & accept the situation that they have created?

What would be the lesson learned?  Trust no one?  Always watch your back?  Only look out for yourself?  What kind of way is that to live?

How do we know who we can trust & who we can’t?  There is no evil villainous music that plays when people walk into a room like you see on movies – but that sure would be helpful, no?  haha!

I have trusted MANY people in my life & I have been burned countless times – but here is the lesson:

Do not let the few reflect the flock.

If I turned away from the hope that people are inherently good & kind after someone had done me wrong – I can’t even imagine all of the happiness & joy I would have missed out on!

Do not let selfishness turn you sour for opportunities of selflessness.

Just as there is no foreshadowing music to help you navigate life – there is also no guarantee that ‘good always wins’ or that ‘justice shall prevail’ but these things are not for us to ensure.  If we stop paying it forward, we all miss out.

People that live for the gold of this world don’t realize that these are short-lived experiences of happiness.

There are much greater riches & joy to be gained from holding firm to strong morals in the face of personal gain, being kind in spite of injustices and being honest even if it is not the popular decision.

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First contact

Yesterday I decided to take my nerves & emotions out of it & make the initial contact w/ our son’s donor sibling families.  There are 5 registered families total & I reached out to the other 4 with my email info.

I’ve heard back from one family so far.  They seem very nice & I am shocked to see there is an undeniable resemblance between our children – even tho our son is practically my tiny twin!

My feelings are mixed, to say the least.

It’s exciting to feel another human connection in this big world & celebrate strong women & growing strong families.  It also, yet again, solidifies the fact that my wife & I will never be able to have a child that is simply ‘ours’ with no strings attached & we must share our sweet boy with other people in this world (in some sense) with whom he may feel connected to during his life.

It’s messy – it’s amazing – it’s confusing – it’s beautiful – but I’m not sure how to process my feelings on this.  For now I can be sure I am (not equal parts) excited, sad & scared.

And to think:  just 2 days ago my biggest problem is that my wife & I were fighting over fried chicken – HAHAHA!  Life is funny that way!  🙂

In the beginning there were… labels

Where to begin?

I’ll assume you’re wondering who the hell I am – ohhhh… the deep questions – I’ll avoid the temptation to tell you my life story at this point & let’s just cut to the chase & throw down the labels!

unspoiled only child
brutally honest friend
slacking coworker
devoted but incompetent wife
oversharing & overbearing mother
sarcasm lover
self-proclaimed home chef
lover of pinning pins that I will never complete
breastfeeding enthusiast – lactavist
believer in the power of women’s bodies
crunchy/granola mom wannabe
Chief Financial Officer of my household (I write out the bills – it’s thrilling & I gave myself the title so I could feel fancy)

I guess that just about sums me up!
Don’t act like you’re not impressed!

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